I am a single mother of two teens; my son is in tenth grade and my daughter is in ninth grade.  I have an excellent mother-father relationship with their father and thank goodness, because I don’t know what I’d do if I had to do all of this alone; but I am so tired of my children coming home from school, like they did yesterday, in tears because of the unkind words of their peers.

I remember high school, it wasn’t that long ago for me (or at least I like to THINK it wasn’t that long ago) and I’ve had my share of peers not liking me or maybe not treating me the way I’d like to be treated; but I never had to put up with some of the things my children are facing during their high school years.

My son has been telling me about a boy in one of his classes who has been tormenting him since the beginning of this year, when they first met, in Health class.  Up until that first day of school in September, according to my son, they’d never had any interaction and this student isn’t in any of my son’s circles of friends.  They were strangers.  So what gives this young man the right to decide that all of his negative aggressions should be taken out on my son?  Where does he feel it is his job to taunt, ridicule, mock, swear at and throw things like pieces of paper at my son during this class? 

Yesterday he had his first gym class that replaces the half-year Health class and he spent the entire time avoiding the other boys in his class because he feels that if he stays under-the-radar, they won’t pick on him.  During an assebly yesterday, these boys from his gym class were sitting a few rows behind him and along with poking at him were saying vulgar things like, “Hey, my son’s name, you give me a boner.”   Who taught this student to treat other students like that?

I don’t know what it’s like for students in other schools, this is my first time as a mother of teenagers, but what can I do to help my son with these issues?  As much as I’d like to go down to the school and follow my son around during his day dressed like a teen (I could actually pull this off…) I know this wouldn’t help him a bit.  But I want to “see” these kids interact with him and catch them bullying so they can be stopped. 

I am a very fortunate woman because I have resources at my disposal that I will utilize; a very good friend is an administrator in our Middle school and  will go to her for more advice and the assistant superintendent of our district was the principal of the elmentary school that my son attended from K-5 and she really loves my son.  I will be speaking with these women sometime today (it is a weekend and I have the OK to call them at home) and I hope there are options that we can impliment to keep my son protected but why is this kind of thing still happening?

I was a very “spirited” child and had the energy of ten teens when I was in school and although there were some others who didn’t particularly LIKE me, I never felt unsafe in my classes.  I had a big mouth and a boat load of opinions back then, that I foolishly believed would somehow change the world, if others just thought like me.  But I never dreaded going into a classroom, thinking that my name would be inserted into a pornographic limerick or the that any of the other students would have comments about either of my parents.  I want my son to be safe and to be able to ENJOY these years.  I don’t want him to be one of those unfortunate people who, when in their mid-lives only remember high school as this horrible thing they had to endure on their way to adulthood.

Am I asking too much?  I don’t think so.

If you have any ideas or experiences that will help this situation turn positive from negative, I’d love to hear it.  I’m sure I am not the only mother dealing with this, and I could sure use some practical advice.