Sometimes God’s timing is hysterical.

Take yesterday for example.  I wrote about my sadness that I felt last week on, what would have been, my 20th wedding anniversay.  I was surprised by my emotional reaction to the day because in the past 5 years I have not felt anything remotely like it when I think about my divorce.

Well, after pouring my heart out on the page and then having some time to reflect and feel good about the whole thing, I get an unexpected visit from my ex-husband last night, who tells me that while he and his girlfriend are away next week, he’s going to propose.  Wow.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.

I have to say this one thing; the woman he has been dating and is going to marry is a really great person.  I mean I don’t know her very well, but what I do know is that my kids, who spend a lot of time with her, really really like her.  That’s all I need to know, to make a judgement that she’s probably and okay gal.  I think my kids would let me know in one way or another, if she weren’t a good lady.

In the few minutes that followed this comment from him, I could feel my eyes well up with tears.  I touched his arm and said, “I’m so happy for you, and my stomach just did this flip-thing, and I don’t understand it.”  More than anything, I’m happy he’s found someone to love and share his life with; I believe he and I, both, are meant to be half of a couple, even if it’s not together.

Just before he walked down the front stairs of my home, I called him back and said, “I really am happy for you, with all my heart, I wish you the best.  And thank you for letting me in on this great news.  I’m honored.” 

Phew!  I cried.  I cried a lot.  After closing the front door and walking into the kitchen where Dave was doing dishes, I burst into tears.  I was trying to let him know that my tears weren’t because I wanted to get back together with my ex, but I couldn’t put my finger on why, exactly, there were tears.  In his sweet way, he held me close and simply said, “Jill, I’d think it were a little strange if you didn’t have this reaction to the news of your ex-husband getting remarried.  It’s all going to be okay.”  I think I fell more in love with him in those next moments when he allowed me to sob and didn’t feel threatened or jealous.  It was a good thing.

Good news comes in all shapes and sizes and differently decorated packages — it’s up to us to see the beauty in all of it and to use the tough times as learning phases, not places where we plant ourselves in resentment and disgust. 

Be well.