You are currently browsing the daily archive for February 20th, 2008.
Sometimes God’s timing is hysterical.
Take yesterday for example. I wrote about my sadness that I felt last week on, what would have been, my 20th wedding anniversay. I was surprised by my emotional reaction to the day because in the past 5 years I have not felt anything remotely like it when I think about my divorce.
Well, after pouring my heart out on the page and then having some time to reflect and feel good about the whole thing, I get an unexpected visit from my ex-husband last night, who tells me that while he and his girlfriend are away next week, he’s going to propose. Wow. You could have knocked me over with a feather.
I have to say this one thing; the woman he has been dating and is going to marry is a really great person. I mean I don’t know her very well, but what I do know is that my kids, who spend a lot of time with her, really really like her. That’s all I need to know, to make a judgement that she’s probably and okay gal. I think my kids would let me know in one way or another, if she weren’t a good lady.
In the few minutes that followed this comment from him, I could feel my eyes well up with tears. I touched his arm and said, “I’m so happy for you, and my stomach just did this flip-thing, and I don’t understand it.” More than anything, I’m happy he’s found someone to love and share his life with; I believe he and I, both, are meant to be half of a couple, even if it’s not together.
Just before he walked down the front stairs of my home, I called him back and said, “I really am happy for you, with all my heart, I wish you the best. And thank you for letting me in on this great news. I’m honored.”
Phew! I cried. I cried a lot. After closing the front door and walking into the kitchen where Dave was doing dishes, I burst into tears. I was trying to let him know that my tears weren’t because I wanted to get back together with my ex, but I couldn’t put my finger on why, exactly, there were tears. In his sweet way, he held me close and simply said, “Jill, I’d think it were a little strange if you didn’t have this reaction to the news of your ex-husband getting remarried. It’s all going to be okay.” I think I fell more in love with him in those next moments when he allowed me to sob and didn’t feel threatened or jealous. It was a good thing.
Good news comes in all shapes and sizes and differently decorated packages — it’s up to us to see the beauty in all of it and to use the tough times as learning phases, not places where we plant ourselves in resentment and disgust.
Be well.
